You Don't Have to Give Birth to Suffer From Postpartum Mood Disorders

If there is a stigma associated with maternal perinatal mood disorders, there is complete disbelief associated with paternal perinatal mood disorders. Did you know that dads can suffer from these same illnesses as mothers? I didn't before I started researching for this campaign. I always just assumed it was a club exclusive to biological mothers, but this is absolutely not the case! 

Many mothers that I have spoken with often express a lack of empathy by their male partners, but I had never considered that they could be suffering as well (and I'd be shocked if the mothers had either). While mothers are expected to form a fierce bond with their child and typically be in their presence, fathers occupy an uncertain territory. On the one hand, their partners often expect that they actively care for the baby as much as they are able to. Diaper-changing, baby-dressing, bottle-feeding, park-going, babywearing daddies are lauded in mainstream and social medias. But if a dad is emotionally or physically distant, it is excused with little regard for how the father may be feeling about that distance. "Well, somebody has to work." "You can't expect him to take the baby when he's been at work all day." "He's not the mom." No, he is not. He is the father and occupies a unique place in his own right. By no means does that negate his emotional needs. Without getting into a lengthy discussion on the systematic suppression of male emotion, it's important to recognize that the dad may not even realize what is happening. A great deal of women who suffer from a postnatal mood disorder (PMD) don't realize what is happening until it is behind them, and the same is true for men, if not more-so. Paternal postpartum mental health is rarely discussed in childbirth books or parenting books, so neither the father nor the mother may even be aware that such issues exist and men do not have postnatal checkups from medical professionals.

This doesn't mean that fathers who may be distant must be suffering from a PMD, just that someone does not need to gestate or give birth to a child to suffer from a postpartum mood disorder. We must remain mindful that you cannot use other individuals as a yardstick for what is or is not a mood disorder, though. Specifically, I mean to say that just as two mothers can act identically but one might suffer from a PMD and the other does not, the same applies to fathers. So you cannot assume that just because your partner doesn't want to babywear or spend a lot of alone time with the baby, then they must be suffering from a PMD. The reason for this campaign is to break the stigma, but at least we know about these issues. Fathers first have to overcome the ignorance of paternal PMD, then overcome the stigma in order to speak about it. A PMD can be associated with the loss of a previous child, infant temperament, marital dysfunction and even a perception of inefficient parenting. (1) A father might be distant from his child because he believes he is supposed to be more distant, but he may be distancing himself because his emotional health makes him think that he needs to be distant in order to ensure the best outcome for his child.

If you are a man and are reading this, please bear in mind that any of the signs we talk about in the campaign, exist for you as well. Though the triggers may be different, the pain is still the same. While postpartum depression is not exclusive to the mom, paternal postpartum depression can be correlated to it, meaning if your partner is suffering from a PMD, keep an eye on yourself, too. In a study published in 2005, it was reported that paternal postpartum depression was present in 40% of men whose partners were severely depressed. That means that they were also evaluated as having some form of depression themselves (as the authors were evaluating depression). (2) If you are a woman who is suffering from a PMD, keep this heightened risk in mind. Your partner may not be providing the support you want because he is unable to. Speak with one another candidly. Encourage each other to seek the help that you each need and deserve. 

Just as it is for mothers, babywearing can be a resource for fathers as well. It can stimulate the production of oxytocin in his body and enrich a bond, especially when baby is worn skin to skin. This oxytocin release becomes a cycle; by experiencing the hormonal release, the father is encouraged to wear more often, which in turn, will stimulate the production of more hormones. Bonding through babywearing can be initiated after the newborn stage as well, but if you are not the father, take care when encouraging him to babywear so that it is not seen as a criticism of his parenting. If you are the father and are worried that there is a lack of support or community for babywearing men, do not dispair. There are several popular paternal babywearers including Slingadad Dom, Danny the Babywearing Dad, Babywearing Dads Down Under, and the husband and wife team of The Dukes - Babywearing Photography, not to mention the Bearded Men Babywearing Calendar!

1. Psychosocial factors associated with paternal postnatal depressiondeMontigny, Francine et al., Journal of Affective Disorders , Volume 150 , Issue 1 , 44 - 49
2. Is Paternal Postpartum Depression Associated with Maternal Postpartum Depression? A population-based study in Brazil, Pinheiro, R. T. et al., Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 2006: 113:230-232

Postpartum Anxiety and Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

By Beth Huss Secrist

Many people are familiar with Postpartum Depression, but there are other perinatal mood disorders that can impact new mothers. Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) and Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (PPOCD) are two of these. These are often misunderstood, and misdiagnosed, or missed altogether by health professionals. Postpartum Support International (PSI) reports that about 10% of new mothers will experience PPA, and 3-5% will experience PPOCD.

You might have PPA or PPOCD if you have had a baby in the past 12 months and you are experiencing some or all of the following:

  • Racing thoughts
  • You can’t settle down or relax
  • You have to be doing something at all times
  • You feel really worried all the time, especially about baby’s health and development or your ability to be a good parent
  • You have disturbing thoughts that you know aren’t right (particularly thoughts related to “what if” you hurt the baby). These thoughts are persistent, repetitive, and not something you’ve thought about before. You feel horrified or very scared by these thoughts. (Please note, moms with PPOCS are VERY unlikely to act on these thoughts because they are so horrified by them.)
  • You are afraid to be alone with baby because of the scary thoughts or worries
  • You feel you need to check things constantly (did I lock the car? Is the oven off? Is the baby breathing?)
  • You have physical symptoms such as stomach cramps, rapid heartbeat, headaches, shakiness, nausea, or even panic attacks
  • You often feel restless, on edge, or moody
  • You have a loss of appetite
  • You have trouble sleeping despite being extremely tired
  • You have a feeling of dread that something awful will happen
  • You know something is wrong and are afraid you’ve lost the “old you”
  • You fear that reaching out for help will result in people judging you or your baby being taken away

While some anxiety is a normal response to the huge life change of becoming a new parent or adding to your family, when anxiety becomes out of control, it’s time to seek treatment or support. Your anxiety may be out of control if:

  • You know the worries are irrational but you cannot stop thinking about them
  • You dread or avoid everyday situations (such as driving with baby or bathing baby) because of your anxious thoughts
  • Your ability to function is compromised (you are checking on him constantly throughout the night and so cannot function during the day).

Women may be more likely to experience PPA or PPOCD if they have a history of: depression or anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, weepiness or agitation related to menses, miscarriage or stillbirth, or have a more anxious personality (Type A).

Luckily, there is help and support. The process for managing PPA and PPOCD involves: Self-Care, Flexible Thinking, and Facing Fears.  

Self-Care can mean many things and is an individual taste. It is allowing yourself to put on your oxygen mask first so that you can care for others. Self-Care activities may include:

  • Relaxation techniques: mindfulness, meditation, calm breathing, progressive muscle relaxation. Practice staying present in the moment and using your 5 senses to experience each moment fully. These are skills that take time to develop and practice.
  • Accepting help (meals, childcare, etc) from others who offer, or asking people for help
  • Healthy eating (frequent small meals throughout the day to maintain consistent blood sugar)
  • Participating in life by spending time with people we care about. If you want to meet other new parents you could attend groups for young parents, such as “mommy and me” playgroups or storytimes, Postpartum support groups (see, breastfeeding groups, or babywearing meetings.
  • Sleeping, as much as is possible
  • Spending time doing pleasurable or soothing activities
  • Asking for help and treating yourself kindly
  • Exercise, especially resistance training or aerobic exercise. It can be helpful to combine exercise with spending time with others (dancing with a partner, walking with friends) or mindfulness (taking a walk in nature and being fully present in your surroundings). You can wear your baby in a carrier while you exercise (walking, dancing, etc).

For many women, self-care alone is not enough, and it is important to develop strategies for thinking flexibly and facing fears. These are not easy things to do (mothers often set lofty goals for themselves and it can be difficult when they aren't reached) but they are extremely helpful. These may be accomplished with the support of a professional such as a counselor. It is helpful to find a professional who is familiar with treating perinatal mood disorders specifically. Taking the step of talking to a professional can be intimidating, but it is worth it! Many women report that learning skills and strategies with a counselor are crucial to their daily management of anxiety and OCD symptoms.




(If you feel you identify with Postpartum Anxiety or Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, please speak with a healthcare professional and where possible, a mental healthcare professional.)

Beth Huss Secrist is a mental health counselor who specializes in maternal and infant mental health. She lives in Illinois with her husband and two young daughters, where she leads babywearing and gentle parenting groups.

How Babywearing Can Help With Postnatal Depression

By Dr. Rosie Knowles

Western society is increasingly fractured and isolated, with a decreased sense of local community and shared care. The birth of a baby is often an overwhelming time for both parents, especially when also faced with the expectations and demands of a fast-paced culture that often judges people by their apparent productivity and appearance. It is no wonder that postnatal depression is on the rise - affecting at least 10-15% of new mothers (with many more sufferers never being recognised). Mothers are encouraged to put their babies down as much as possible and regain their old lives; babies are expected to learn independence as quickly as possible and stop relying on their parents for their every need. This approach to caring for children is very new in human history and runs counter to attachment theory, which suggests that the human infant thrives on responsive parenting and close contact.

Many parents with PND feel a sense of dissociation and detachment from the child they want to love so much; and there are many things that can help with the feelings of despair. I do recommend speaking to your local healthcare professionals for help, and to draw on your local community for support; you may be surprised how many parents know how you feel.

“It isnt about not loving your baby but about feeling overwhelmed with responsibility and unable to cope.”

Oxytocin is a hormone that is closely related to bonding and attachment. It is released during labour and breastfeeding, and, crucially, during skin-to-skin contact and social interaction. It has an important role in encouraging nurturing feelings and a sense of belonging. Actions such as breastfeeding, skin to skin contact and carrying your baby close can all help to maintain the release of oxytocin, which is also thought to help reduce stress and anxiety. Babies who are in close contact with their parents have been shown to have a corresponding higher level of oxytocin than their non-carried counterparts; which subsequently helps to reduce baby’s own stress levels and improve their sense of secure attachment; their needs are met at the point of request. 

Modern life is fast-paced and for many, constant carrying of ever-growing children can be difficult to achieve, or uncomfortable after the travails of birth. This is where the practice of baby-wearing can be of great value. A soft sling that allows you to keep your child close to you, (thereby stimulating the release of oxytocin), and helps your baby to relax and sleep in secure comfort may make a huge difference to your life and your feelings.

“When she was in her pram I felt completely removed from her and her world. I was just an accessory, she was a job to do and I was irrelevant. Using a sling finally helped me bond properly with her and made a massive difference to the PND.”

Many slings are extremely comfortable to use, and can be very practical indeed. It is possible to learn how to feed discreetly in a sling, allowing you more flexibility about being out of the house for the day with your baby. Slings give you and your baby the freedom to be on the move together, rather than feeling stuck; to go out into the world for a walk or go shopping without struggling with the complexities of a pram. Movement and exercise are vital to wellbeing; and using a sling safely can help your body recover from birth and become stronger.

Slings can be beautiful and colour therapy can help to lift the mood. Learning a new skill can be therapeutic, and many parents find a great sense of community among other sling users both locally and online. This can help with feelings of isolation, especially if you have chosen to parent differently from your family or your peers.

Babies need to be carried and they thrive when they are carried.. and their parents can benefit greatly too. If you are suffering from PND then it may be worth considering using a carrier; loving feelings often follow loving actions and your baby may turn out to be your best medicine. 

 Rosie Knowles is a mom to two children, a renowned sling and carrier advocate and educator, and a General Practioner (doctor) in the United Kingdom. She runs the Sheffield Sling Surgery, which is both a babywearing education service and a lending library, and the Virtual Sling Surgery. You can access her work through various sources, including the website, the Facebook page, Instagram, Twitter or YouTube

The original article, which was written for this campaign, can be found here: